„No more drama ...“

Don’t you think that life already provides us with enough drama? How much avoidable drama do you want to allow in your life? Perhaps the past weeks have shown you how different it is to be spared from office dramas and to have to deal with very practical issues. How relaxing it can be to not have to listen how terrible the boss is and why nobody does anything about it …

One of the brilliant insights of transactional analysis is Karpman’s drama triangle. It describes how people can move in a triangle of victim, persecutor, and rescuer. In doing so, they take on the role they believe they should be in right now. The important thing is that they are not really victim or rescuer, they play that role. It arises from an inner need. From a pattern and from a lack of alternatives.

Have you seen this in your organization? Colleagues who „go into the victim role“, rescuers who can no longer watch and „the others“ who are made into persecutors?

Isn’t that something from „kindergarten“? And then ask yourself what you are doing here and whether you are not too grown up to play in it?

According to the principle: „Love it, leave it or change it“ you now have three alternatives.

1. „Love it“: Ask yourself whether you don’t sometimes play this game, use it for your own purposes or simply put up with it.

2. „Leave it“: Would it not be consistent to leave it now? In my coaching sessions I point out that this is a valid option. But always only after everything else has been tried out.

3. „Change it“

At some point you will have to leave the safe haven „home office“ again and go back to the regular office again. With what intent do you do this?

One possible intention could be: „We’re going to break the drama triangle“, because it sucks.

But how do you start? The drama triangle is usually a cultural component and it takes more than just you to break it.

In co-creation we do this at the very beginning of the process. First, you gather the people with whom it is important to you to bring about change. Then you ask your colleagues what is important to you at work and what annoys them. Tell them about what you observed before Corona and ask your colleagues how they feel about it. And finally, agree together on a sign, a slogan that everyone can give in the room when the drama triangle is created. This will make the invisible visible and dissolve.